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Wow hard to believe it has already been a month since I posted. Where oh where does the time go. My hubby had a phone interview with PGA tour of America for a couriers position. It went very well and he should hear next week when he will have an in person interview. I have a really good feeling about this and beleive this is the job for him and he will get it. I beleive this is the job the lord wants him to have.

The job is 40 miles away but there is nothing that stops us from moving closer. It is located in Ponte Vedra, Florida. Once he gets this job and we get into a routine, I think we will both feel better about this move.
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Last night I decided to look at my previous posts and was shocked to see it has been four years since my last update. Wow where does the time go. A lot has happened in those four years. This biggest thing to happen was we moved to Florida in August last year. I finally am here with my mom who I haven't lived around for way to long. It has been a transition but so far we love the weather. Nice not to endure below zero temps.

In December I took my grandaughter home that evening and as I left my sons house a boy on a bike ran out in front of me and we collided. i was shocked couldn't beleive what had happened. I stopped and called 911, got out of my car and helped the young boy. He was not seriously injured thank God but I was a basket case. There was some damage to my car and that will be getting fixed tomorrow. I am so thankful that this young boy is okay and I pray never to go through something like that again.

So back to our move. Our house in North Dakota sold in 7 hours. Everything went so smoothly. I truly beleive God opened all the doors for us to move here. The drive here was wonderful, sunshine the whole way and the dogs did great with the long drive.

As they say not everything will go as planned and we have found that to be true. My husband John has had no luck in finding a job. He has had three interviews in the last four months. He did take one job but only worked for the day and then told them it was not for him. The hours were terrible. They wanted you to work from 10am until 2-3am the next morning. Now during the interview they said there would be an occasional 3am but it turns out that it would be every Monday and Wednesday. Not much fun for sure. He has had two other interviews with no luck so far. He has put in for at least twenty jobs or more since we got here.

We are hoping something comes through soon or I am not sure what we will do. I will keep praying and believing that just the right job is going to come his way.

Oh yeah I also work from home. Have been with the same company for the last 2 1/2 years. This company allowed me to work from Florida and that is how we got here.

Anyways I am writing all this to keep a log of things that have been happening in our lives. After reading my previous posts I realized how much I like having this to look back on.
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I swear mother nature hates us here in the great north. We received 5 inches of snow last friday. In all my years living here I do not remember receiving this much snow this late in the season. The forecast also calls for more snow this week, ugghhh:(

I really need to find a new place to live, in my dreams.

Pity Party

Jan. 5th, 2011 06:45 pm
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I guess you can say I am having my own little "Pity Party"! I should be grateful for all that I have and I am, but since I have graduated with my RN I had been unable to find a job until I was hired for a position 80 miles away. I am happy to have recieved this job offer as it will enable me to pay my student loans, which right now are 500 a month.I have applied to consolidate them, but that has not been finalized as of yet. Hopefully soon!!!! I do not look forward to the drive during the winter, but I will not mind it so much in the summer.

This is where my pity party begins:( All the girls I went to college with have gotten a job in the hospital and I have not even been able to get an interview. I just do not understand it!!!! I graduated with honors, have a good work history, but no one wants to interview me. I feel like such a loser!!!!! What is wrong with me that no hospital will even grant me an interview? I cry when I think about the dream I had of becoming an RN and how I would be able to do more along with becoming more financially stable and then the reality kicks in and kicks my "ASS", now how sad is that!!!!

So,I am going to ride this "Pity Party" to the end and hopefully when all is said and done, I will have kicked its "ASS".
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That is exactly how I feel these days. I am not usually so down, but I just can not seem to kick this feeling. It is hard to get excited about anything these days. I am sure it is to do with the disappointment of not being able to find an RN position. I am now beginning to wonder "why" I even went and got my RN in the first place. I had all these plans on how things would be and it has not panned out:(

I know, I know, I should be thankful for having a job, a roof over my head, food in my tummy and so on. I am very thankful for these things and thankful for another day, but on the other hand I am very sad that things have not worked out as I had hoped.

I however do have an interview in Fargo, which is 72 miles away for a position working in the homeless clinic and visiting the homeless shelters doing blood pressure checks, dressing changes, handing out OTC meds and whatever else needs to be done. It would be monday thru friday, no holidays and no weekends. I am just not sure about the drive. A friend of mine who is a nurse practitioner is the one who talked me into applying.

So anyways, I just wanted a reference of how many jobs I have been turned down for so far.

Oh yeah, I have applied to well over 50 positions with no luck!

Blah, blah, blah........
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I did not get the clinical coordinator position that I had applied for a few weeks back. They chose a nurse who is personal friends with 3 of the other nurses who work there.

I just do not know what to do from here. I am feeling very down and out at this moment. I worked so hard through school to graduate with honors and a 3.78 GPA and here I sit, unable to get a RN position.

Just not sure what to do, can't move:( I am trying to be patient, but it is difficult to say the least.

It doesnt help that I have worked for the majority of the places here in this small town. I pretty much screwed myself, how sad!!!

Job Hunt

Aug. 2nd, 2010 09:11 am
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I had an interview last thursday at a clinic 38 miles away. It was for a clinical coordinator position, that would be responsible for supervising the nursing staff, quality improvement, working with applying for grants (this is a federally funded clinic) and other administrative tasks. I would also be doing some triaging and helping out in the doctors office as needed.

This is not a very big clinic, but it serves those who have no insurance or not enough insurance, on a sliding scale fee. The interview went well and I am going back tuesday and thursday this week to meet with two providers that are on the board of directors.

The pay is good as much as I would make in the hospital. Since I have worked in the clinical setting for 12 years, this environment is not new to me. It would be monday thru friday with weekends and holidays off. I love the idea of no more weekends and holidays, but I know a part of me will miss the actual hands on care.

I guess I am just thinking out loud, wandering what to do if offered the job. I am sure I will take it, just hope I don't regret it, which I don't think I will, but you never know.
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I sure havent posted in awhile,guess I should remedy that. I am still looking for a RN position and it will be a month on friday since I passed my boards. There are not many positions out there at the moment, hopefully that will turn around soon. It is a little discouraging, to say the least.

I am still working at St. Anne's for the time being. I do not mind this job, but I am working as a RN for an LPN wage. Oh well I guess it could be worse.
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As the the title reads, I am a graduate RN. This last year and a half has gone by pretty fast. I am done with school and am graduating with honors. The actually graduation will be May 14th.

I am so glad it is over!!! I am taking a fews days to do nothing and then I will start studying for the NCLEX, which is the National licensing exam for nurses. I will be attending a 4 day live review that is a crash course of what we learned in school and also tips on how to break down the question to determine the correct answer. Hopefully within 2 weeks of the review I will test and pass my boards, then I will officially be a registered nurse.

Then the task of finding a job as a RN. I have applied to the new hospital opening but they wont be interviewing for a few months. They are expecting to open late summer early fall. I am also going to apply to a transitional care uint that will be opening around the same time. Hopefully I can secure me a position, so keep your fingers crossed.

On another note I found my best friend on facebook, who I havent seen since I was 18. It is sure good to talk to her, brings back alot of memories and gives me a connection to my childhood.

All in all life is good!!!
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Here is the potato soup recipe you wanted. I am acutally making it today for supper and thought of the both of you. So here you go!

Potato Soup

8 cups (5 pounds) chopped potato's
1 small onion, diced
1/2 pound of crisp cooked crumbled bacon (I use a whole pound and reserve some for topping the bowl of soup with:)
1 8oz package of cream cheese softened
1 can of cream of chicken soup
3 14oz cans of chicken broth
1/4 teaspoon of pepper

cook bacon and drain (I use kitchen scissors to cut the bacon into pieces before cooking).
Stir together potato's and onion, add the bacon.
In a seperate bowl mix the cream cheese, cream of chicken soup and chicken broth. Add to the potato's, onion and bacon in a large pot. Add the pepper and mix.

Bring to a boil then turn down to simmer until potato's are tender.
dish up into serving bowls and top with reserved bacon and shredded cheddar cheese.

Enjoy!!!!
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Only 7 more weeks of clinicals left and 8 more weeks of class. I am so excited to be done. Well, I wont actually be done because then I will need to study for my boards. Hopefully I will be taking the boards by the end of June and if all goes as planned I will then be a Registered Nurse. Still not sure where I am going to work or what I want to do but that is another story.

I can see the light at the end of the tunnel!!!!!!
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Happy Birthday Son! I have to work today so I wont be ble to call you until later tonight, probably around 830pm your time. I would have called this morning, but then I am sure I would have woke you up. Just want you to know that I am thinking of you today and of course thinking about the day you were born. You are my "little man", I love you!!!!!!

New Job!

Oct. 22nd, 2009 08:06 pm
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Yes, that's correct another "new job". I have started working at a skilled nursing facility. I am the medication and treatment nurse. This means I pass lots of medications, do insulins, tube feedings and so on. I have orientated for 3 days so far and it hasn't been to bad. It is really busy and you are constantly on the move from the time you get there until the time you leave. That is not a bad thing, just tiring at times. I work with the elderly and quite a few are at the end of their lives. We also have those who are in the process of dying and it is sad.

School is going well and I am half way through the semester. I have already registered for my last semester of school, hard to believe I will graduate in May 2010.

Our new edition Willow is doing great! Her and Jack just love to play together and are always running through the house and under the bed in what appears to be a game of "hide and seek", it is very cute to watch.

Well that is my life in a nutshell!
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I have not been feeling that great lately, ever since that dreaded sunday I have not been able to shake the feeling that "I don't want to do this anymore". I really deep down inside don't want to be a nurse anymore. I hate this feeling! Why am I feeling this way? I want it to go away, I want to go back to feeling the way I used too.

My husband see's me as this very strong person who can conquer anything and for the most part I am, but there is this small part of me who gets scared, who wants to run from the things that penetrate me to the core. I am not sure how to put into words, how this side of me feels at this moment.

I am going to see my doctor today to see if I can get something for anxiety. That is how much the events of that sunday have affected me. I can't seem to relax, I feel hyper vigilant all the time. When I go to work, I jump at someone saying my name. All I can imagine is someone else dying on me and me doing CPR once again. I don't think I am cut out for this type of thing.

Yes, I know that being a nurse means I will confront death at some point, but my gosh, it is devastating and gut wrenching! I just can't imagine spending the rest of my life doing this. Do I really want to have peoples lives in my hands, where every decision I make could mean life or death. I just am not sure that is what I want.

I am not saying that I am leaving nursing,but if I cant get these emotions under control, I will have no other choice. I don't want to spend the rest of my working life in a state of anxiety.

I am so disappointed in myself at this moment!
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Sunday was a horrible day at work. It is hard to even put into words how I am feeling.

On sunday I was summoned to the dining room for a resident who, they thought had fallen asleep at the table. Upon seeing the resident I knew right away that the resident was dying. I went up to the resident and started patting their arm and calling their name. The resident felt cold and my heart fell to my feet. I turned around and said "call 911", you and you get him to the floor. I ran and grabbed our face mask, blood pressure cuff and pulse ox. When I got back I felt for a pulse, no pulse and then I started CPR. I was doing the chest compressions and another staff member jumped in to do the resuce breaths. This went on for 3 cycles before paramedics arrived, which seemed like an eternity. I was thinking thank goodness the professionals are here to take over, I dont want to do this anymore!

They worked on the resident for some time and then called the time of death. The resident was dead!!!! I was standing there thinking, this is not happening, what just happened? Then I got very mad, mad at the world. This was such an unexpected death!!! Why on my shift, why this way?

I hated the whole thing, I hated feeling the ribs give underneath my hands, I hated seeing the residents eyes wide open with no one home. I hated the feel, the smell and I hate death!!!!

It is ugly and shows no mercy!!!!

I watched somone die, I felt their death underneath my hands and I will never never forget!!!!!

I question whether I could ever do that again. Do I really want to be a nurse?

I know we have no control over death and when our number is up, but why does it have to be so ugly!
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Tomorrow is going to be a very busy day. I will be getting up at 430am to be on the road to crookston for clinicals by 6am. Will be there until about 1pm then off to East Grand Forks, Minnesota for class from 4pm - 8pm. I am sure by the time I get home, I will be ready to crash. This is the only week it will be this way and that is due to today being a holiday.

I just got home from work a little bit ago and now I have to try and wind down to be in bed at a decent time for tomorrow. I am little nervous about tomorrow since I will have my own patient. Taking care of someone in the hospital is a whole world of difference than what I do now as a nurse. I am looking foward to the challenge. I am a natural care taker, so taking care of others comes easy for me, even the "yucky" stuff doesnt bother me that much. Just knowing I was able to help someone get better is very full - filling. The stress of this type of job is another story, but you do learn to manage.

Well that is me in a nutshell, at the moment anyways.

Oh yeah, forgot to say, cant wait to bring Willow home with us. She sure is a sweet little girl. Hard to believe I will finally have another female in the house.
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Wow, looks like I haven't posted in months. Not to much exciting going on this way. The most fun I have had this summer so far is the wedding of our son Mark and Janine. What a beautiful wedding and it was great to meet Janine's side of the family. I actually have been using facebook and have added Janine's dad and mom to my friends list. I look foward on keeping up with how they are doing.

School starts back in a week, cant say I am looking foward to it, but only 2 semesters to go. Jack our new addition is such a love. Boy do I enjoy having him around! I am still working at St. Annes, have been there for over a year. I would like to work someplace else, but at least I have a job and health insurance. We have done some remodeling to the basement and our bedroom upstairs and it all looks very nice. My plans down the road are to add egress windows to the rooms in the basement, spruce up the laundry room, fix the side of the house, fence the yard and paint the outside of the house along with landscaping. We wont be able to do it all at once, just little by little, but if I stay focused it will get done.

Well thats it in a nutshell around here. I will have to really try and post more often.
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Well I am done with school for the semester. Yesterday was my last day. I am looking forward to having the summer off. I do have to admit that I bombed the final!!! Could not believe it, I have never bombed and exam in my entire life. On the plus side I still ended up with a high "B" in the class. I missed an "A" by .6 of a point. Could have had that "A" if I didnt bomb the final. Oh well life goes on. Will be starting a class called Interventions and clinicals in the fall. I am sure that is going to be a very busy semester. Time to enjoy doing what I want to do!
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Just want to say thank you to my son Mark for sending us invite codes. I am really excited to be part of this community. I am off to explore will post again later.